?Single parents don't play, do we? Most likely, we're cleaning up after the last visit with the kids, wondering how to negotiate their next visit, or working night and day to financially afford "our end" of the single parent bargain. On top of all this, many of us are weaving new relationships into our lives. When we do pause for a moment to ourselves, we probably spend that brief timeframe wondering if all single parents are masochistic. We don't want to be THAT different. What will this do to the kids, let alone our own self-esteem? So, how do we get over that vast feeling of alone-ness when the kids are away and we have time to really think about our situation?

Since I spend some of my time alone perusing statistics (try this if you're into pain), I have good news for us single heads-of-households. We might like to walk along the ragged edge of chaos, but at least we're not alone in our struggles. According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics on marriage and divorce, single parents head twenty-eight percent of all families containing children less than eighteen years of age. Although the Census Bureau would like us to believe the "composition of American households and families has remained relatively stable" since 1990, the numbers are still staggering.

Don't let the total numbers fool you into thinking these statistics only concern single mother-child relationships, because single father-child relationships are on the rise; however, the single-father heads of households still don't match the numbers in single-mother households. In 1997, single-family female-headed households that include children under age 18 totaled almost sixty-two percent of the twenty-eight percent mentioned above. This does not mean that there are more single women than single men, so relax.

It's easy to take these figures and make what you will of them to support any given cause, and when single parents are alone, we can come up with some pretty wild causes. I came to several conclusions after muddling through the census site and then reading about ten more articles about these specific numbers. Even the Census Bureau makes concessions for their figures, stating that American households aren't the same animals they were in 1970, and that all these numbers may mean different things if creatively combined with other figures. Although they don't state this specifically, Americans can be very resourceful. We get ourselves into some of the worst jams in the world, and still find ways to survive - even with kids and without spouses.

However we do it, it seems we've had more than three decades to learn how to do it well. Since the 1970s, when single-parent households became a major focus because of its quick ascent on that statistical ladder, we've learned to adjust to, accept, and become part of the single-family household formula in one way or another. The options are numerous. We can get married, remarried, move back in with parents, move in with siblings, or let the grandparents raise the kids while we pay the bills. We can share raising the kids with ex-spouses or with friends and family members. We can move into communes and start home schools. I know you're not laughing, because I know you've thought about at least half these ideas and possibly more.

Whatever we do, we know our finances are part and parcel of this scenario. Some of us are better off than others, but if we work on percentage of income for various necessities, we come out about the same. In 1997, the Census Bureau says we spent all but 8.4% of our income on housing, transportation, medical bills, and other necessities. Whether we're spending that 8.4% on our portfolios wasn't explained, but another table shows that our investment habits are improving.

In 1995, only 15.2% of families held stocks outside of mutual funds, retirement accounts and other managed assets. By 1998, that number increased to 19.2%. What's more impressive is the increase in these asset values. In 1995, the median value of these individual equity assets was 9.6% of the total family assets. By 1998, the median value was worth 17.5% of the total family assets. Of course, to be realistic, there are a wide variety of family ages and incomes that fell into this bracket, and how many of these households include single parents is left to the imagination. The point, however, is that more people are joining the ranks of a group that handles their own decisions in the stock market.

So, whatever you're doing tonight as a single parent, just know you're not alone. You are part of a seemingly endless and complicated (read sophisticated) statistic. I wouldn't advocate single parenthood simply because of the constant upheaval for all parties concerned; however, I would promote becoming more active with your family or a network of single parents who are seeking answers for emotional and physical survival. If both those suggestions give you the willies, consider joining an investment club.

Most investment clubs don't charge for visiting or asking for information, and some don't charge for membership. If you want to research investment clubs in your area on the Internet, you are joining the rising ranks of individuals enumerated by the Census Bureau who a) access the Internet from home and b) are wisely investing in their future with individual investments. Welcome aboard.

Until Next Week,
Linda Goin

You can catch up with more abstract statistics at the Census Bureau:
http://www.census.gov/prod/www/abs/statis.html